I’m tired. Pooped. Not quite in the “drained” or “exhausted” category. Definitely not burned out. Just really tired.
Here’s the deal – I LOVE what I do. I love my wife and kids. (They even seem to love me). I love my neighbors and my friends and the Middle East and speaking at churches and conferences, and writing and developing a website, and hosting conferences and developing six University courses, and….Okay. You got the picture. And that’s my problem.
A friend said it well this weekend in Kansas City. Steve Jones. Worship leader/mentor/cool dude extraordinaire. This is what he said as I was telling him about NT Wright coming to our Simply Jesus gathering in Denver this November 7-9. “Carl, I’ve got you figured out,” he started (others have said that and failed, so I was all ears). “You say YES to basically anything that fits into the category of Jesus/Fun/People and if it’s out-of-the-box. Right?”
Hmmmm, well YES. Busted. So….?
“Then you tell everyone you know about whatever that thing is, and expect them to get equally excited about it, since you think it’s a wonderful idea. Right?” Well….yes, that’d also be correct.
Steve went on to say “And if they don’t get excited you are disappointed because you really want them to like the idea and be all in. Right?” Wow. Nailed it. Totally absolutely nailed it. That’s me. There you go. Is this a confession or a clarification or…? I dunno. But it’s true.
Which leads me to our vacation. Because it’s true that this is totally the way I’m wired, I get tired (hey, that rhymed). When I was younger and even crazier than I am now – i didn’t realize that i needed vacations. I thought going to speak somewhere 6 times on a weekend counted. Chris tried. My kids cried. But I didn’t listen. I was busy saying YES and getting others to come along. It caught up with me at about my 40th birthday. Tiredness. Hmmm, what’s that, I wondered? It’s called: living life at the pace I do, makes me tired – and those around me tired as well.
So…I’ve learned to both slow down (a little) AND take total vacations. Where I vacate. Stop. Not slow down. But….stop!
And that’s what we’re about to do now – fly off to Florida for 9 days. Just our family. On an island with no cars. Only a beach, a swimming pool, tennis courts and a house. I cannot wait. Vacation needed!
I’m pretty sure the world and God will be just fine without me for the next 9 days.